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God is angry with that thing you did that I don't like you doing

Posted by Ben on Wednesday, January 18, 2006 | Permalink

Rather surprisingly, there appears to be some confusion as to exactly why God pitched wave after wave of hurricanes at the USA this year.

The mayor of New Orleans thinks it's because of Iraq:

"Surely God is mad at America...He sent us hurricane after hurricane after hurricane and it's destroyed and put stress on this country. Surely He's not approving of us being in Iraq under false pretences."

Fred Phelps, on the other hand, knows that He took a personal hand in complex weather patterns because of the sexuality of part of the New Orleans population.

Steve Lefemine was pretty sure it was actually abortion that caused the Almighty to let fly.

Our very own Stephen Green figures it was all kinds of frowned upon behaviour that meant the city was, quite frankly, asking for it:

"What an expression of trust in God and holy fear of God it would be if the people of New Orleans told the abortionists, the criminals, the pimps and whores, the drug pushers, the voodoo priests and the homosexual tourists, 'Your presence has cursed us. We don't want you back; we don't want your money.'"

And inevitably, it turns out it was actually Allah taking action against the Great Satan:

"It is almost certain that this is a wind of torment and evil that Allah has sent to this American empire."

Amazing how everyone seems to know what God was thinking. Amazing how closely His will matches their own prejudices.

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