Archived blog post

John Paul II gave me eczema

Posted by Ben on Friday, April 06, 2007 | Permalink

So there's this nun, right, who claims that JP2 cured her of Parkinson's disease (someone might want to let Michael J Fox and Muhammad Ali know). I'm not entirely sure why he gets the credit - certainly this article doesn't actually mention him appearing before the nun in a vision, or speaking to her from the plughole like that clown in It, or whatever the hell it is recently deceased pontiffs do when they're curing Parkinson's - but she reckons it was him and apparently it's boosted his chances of being declared a saint in the near future. In a desperate attempt to knock him back a notch, I'd like to point out that I've never prayed to John Paul II since he karked it, and this shameful lack of respect has caused him to:

Break my toe in a cricketing "accident".
Make me nearly lose an eye whilst paintballing.
Give me the shits whilst on holiday in Weymouth.

Clearly, the man was no saint - he's a witch!

(Thanks to Oleg for telling me about the nun)

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