Archived blog post

John Paul II gave me eczema

Posted by Ben on Friday, April 06, 2007 | Permalink
 

So there's this nun, right, who claims that JP2 cured her of Parkinson's disease (someone might want to let Michael J Fox and Muhammad Ali know). I'm not entirely sure why he gets the credit - certainly this article doesn't actually mention him appearing before the nun in a vision, or speaking to her from the plughole like that clown in It, or whatever the hell it is recently deceased pontiffs do when they're curing Parkinson's - but she reckons it was him and apparently it's boosted his chances of being declared a saint in the near future. In a desperate attempt to knock him back a notch, I'd like to point out that I've never prayed to John Paul II since he karked it, and this shameful lack of respect has caused him to:

Break my toe in a cricketing "accident".
Make me nearly lose an eye whilst paintballing.
Give me the shits whilst on holiday in Weymouth.

Clearly, the man was no saint - he's a witch!

(Thanks to Oleg for telling me about the nun)

Comments [ hide comments ]
Honestly, I think they just made this shit up so he can be a saint. It will probably start some kind of trend where they will give sainthood to every pope from here on out.
JGJ, 07.04.2007, 7:05am #
Add comment here
name:
email:
website:
spam-protection - please enter code:
captcha, sorry
comment:


remember me
request email if someone adds comments
your email will not be published
html is not permitted
please provide sources for all quotations
refer to the comments policy for further information
<< home