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Leading a Double Life Doesn't Make You a Superhero

Posted by Ben on Tuesday, December 13, 2005 | Permalink

Despite the fact that it actually validates their existence and gives fuel to fevered 'look at me!' fantasies for at least a month, there comes a time when a website's trolls must be dealt a swift kicking, if only because it's rather fun.

Actually, the first offender may not be a troll, merely dishonest or deluded, but the irony is too good to be allowed to languish in the comments. Early on in this thread, Axis said "if there is no God, you are the last person I would want to listen to. I would want to listen to myself. I would want only what benefits me," apparently needing the threat of hellfire to keep him on the straight and narrow, which says a lot about his character. He continued "Acknowledging our wrong doings is the most difficult thing we can ever do. Even when we know we are caught, we continue to deny it," and this setup paid off in splendid style when I noticed he was plagiarising a bunch of other websites, copyright theft apparently not being one of the crimes he was referring to earlier. He also rhetorically asked "Why acknowledge our sins when we can justify them?", so I hope he'll be doing the acknowledging and not the justifying if he ever answers.

Like I say, Axis may not be a troll. Timnot4me, however, is a different matter.

He pops up now and then and says something utterly unrelated to the actual debate, often about how boring the website has become since his favourite nutcase Eternal Damantion stopped posting. Here he says that ED, as we affectionately called him, made some good points. Such as, maybe, this "TIM, SIERRA, CJ ARE YOU MORE INTELLIGENT THAN FRED HOYLE? IF THE BEST MATHEMATICIAN OF ALL TIME IS TELLING ME EVOLUTION IS BULLSHIT, I'LL BELIEVE HIM OVER YOU LOSERS. "

Timnot4me also has a thing about the comments policy of this site, issuing dire warnings about being deleted if someone says something I don't like, big meanie that I am. This was initially puzzling, as I've only ever deleted one comment and it wasn't by Timnot4me, whose pointless remarks I move to open threads so they don't break the flow.

The only comment I've ever deleted was by a character calling himself Rev_Holy_Fire. What he said was "Brother Jeff is off the web. He has obviously seen the folly of his ways. Your next!!!", on this thread about the death of WinAce. I thought this was in poor taste and deleted it. He commented again yesterday on the Emily Rose thread, talking rubbish once more.

Strangely enough, Rev_Holy_Fire's IP address is identical to Timnot4me's. There's two theories that can explain this:

(1) It's possible Timnot4me lives with Rev_Holy_Fire, and they both enjoy writing utter shit on this website.
(2) It's one person using two anonymous names. With one he poses as a left-wing Christian who considers himself separate from the fundamentalists, posting inane crap about freedom of speech despite never actually saying anything worthwhile, let alone something so diabolically controversial it needs censoring, and with the other pretends to be a fundie, trolling in so feeble a manner it's almost cute. I mean, come on - 'She was poessesed by demons, you fools!!!'? At least call someone a Nazi or something, and internet law says random SECTIONS should be IN bold!!!1 Nice misspelling though, that helps to sell it.

If it's (2) - ie, if it's also the case that the sky is blue - it explains why Timnot4me bleats about being deleted, and also establishes him as someone we can safely ignore from now on, someone who's never actually contributed anything to this site beyond half-arsed trollery.

He didn't always favour his current inoffensive 'let's be friends' line as Timnot4me, however. Back in the early days - he said, sucking thoughtfully on a briar pipe - he was the source of comments like "Stay off line permanently, you moron and take that loser Sierra with you.", "This website is bullshit, and should be removed from the www immediately. There is a very special place for you and Tim will be visiting in the future. We are going to shut this site down." and "we have two imbeciles with websites and promoting hate for christianity under the disguise of rational thinking" Marvellously, one of his first comments on this site came back when Tim was blogging, and he said this: "Hey Tim ,or Mr.y or Sierra whichever you claim to be today. Where's Mr.X Tim? All of a sudden he disappears? Ladies and gentlemen, Tim is Mr. X and all the alleged christians who come to this site. You are pathetic." Ladies and Gents, as Alanis once said - isn't it ironic?

Timnot4me, you've finally arrived. This is the Holy Grail of trolls - a thread devoted almost entirely to you. Take it as a dizzying high in your sad life and fuck off, there's a good lad.

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